Battalion – 2.02.22

PAX: @Heidi (1st F Q)@Fertile Myrtle@Pancreas@Hot Mic (Tribute)@Three’s Company@Soul Glo@ragdoll
Q: @ragdoll
Count: 7
It was a truly gloomy morning as we gathered around the flags in Independence, Missouri to set off on our difficult and arduous trek to Oregon. 48 degrees and soggy.  Props: This workout was inspired by a truly-classic @Nimbus beatdown, our friend over in Nolensville, with some special mods for our AO.
Warmup at the Trading Post
Gotta load up for our challenging journey. Bring what you have and trade it for supplies with your fellow travelers. We went around the circle, each man calling out a warmup for the group: SSH, BACs, Willie Mays, Good Mornings, Toy Soldiers, etc.
And we’re off…Prairie Problems!
Bandits have encircled our camp!! To chase them off we partner up (or is it Pardn’er up) in the end zone of the football field. Partner 1 runs to the other end zone and back while Partner 2 does Prairie Grass Burpee Broadjumps down the field. Partner 1 runs back to Partner 2 and they swap – continue all the way down the field. Then turn around and do it again back down the field…. And we haven’t even made it out of Nebraska yet.
Base Of The Mountain
It’s hard getting a wagon up the foothills of these Wyoming mountains. Our wheels keep breaking – but we soldier on.
  • 10x Broken Wheel jumps (one legged hops)
  • 5x Angle Grinders
  • 10x Broken Wheel jumps (other leg)
  • 10x Mountain Climbers
All the way up the hill to the back of the amphitheater.
Down The Mountain
It’s no easier getting down these hills. But down we go! On each step of the amphitheater we do Derkins in higher reps. First 10, then 20, 30, 40. @Pancreas was feeling the pain so I told him to “Do it for your family! — They’re sick of sitting on a wooden board in the back of your wagon!” Apparently this didn’t make him feel any better.
We take off across the plateau for the pavilion. @Fertile Myrtle tries to start nameorama early. Mutiny is nigh.
It’s hard to stage a mutiny when you’re at death’s door with diphtheria. At the pavilion we do:
  • 30 Dips
  • 20 Incline merkins
  • 10 Plank jacks
Rinse and repeat for good measure to rid ourselves of this awful disease.
Bear Hunting 
Everyone’s favorite part of the Oregon Trail. Time to get some food! Partner 1 crawl bears away from Partner 2; meanwhile Partner 2 does 5 pistol squats and bear crawls to his partner and tags him. Rinse and repeat, swapping exercises with your partner.
Some crawl bearers were faster than their bear crawling hunters.
Winter Camp
We’re closing in on our destination, so we circle up our wagons back at the flagpole for some Mary. Flutter kicks, scissor kicks, LBCs, American Hammers, big boy sit-ups, and V-ups.
And that’s time. We all survived… for better or worse, I guess.
Check slack for #_announcements
  • Praise report from Three’s whose M came back with clean cancer screening tests
  • Pancreas great aunt passed in California; prayers for family unity
  • MapQuest M heading to Ohio to support her family in her dad’s final days
  • Soul Glo is helping lead a conference this week and sister is looking for work
“You are the salt of the earth, but if sale has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.” Matthew 5:13Salt was used for a number of purposes in ancient times: As a flavoring, as a preservative, as a fertilizer (minerals from the salt added nutrients to the ground). Some have even said salt was added to animal dung, to draw out the moisture, so that the dung could more easily burn in fires for cooking.
We don’t know exactly what Christ meant when he said this verse. But his disciples would have been very familiar with all these uses and more.
Here’s what we do know: Pure salt on its own will never lose its salty flavor. Salt is salt. Place it in a cup and leave it on a table for 100 years and it’s still gonna taste like salt.
The only way salt loses the effectiveness of its salty properties is if it becomes diluted or if impurities enter in. Once that happens, it’s nearly impossible to separate out the pure salt once again. It’s of no use anymore and must be thrown out.
As Christians we must carefully guard our hearts and minds. We have a purpose to build God’s kingdom, but if we allow ourselves to become diluted — take on the impurities of the worldly influence around us — we won’t be able to fulfill God’s purpose in our lives as effectively.
My encouragement to our PAX: Guard your hearts. Guard your minds. You have a purpose before you to serve your families, friends, co-workers, and the world around you. Don’t allow the world to diminish your effectiveness!
Hopefully I did this new-style Backblast right and no one gets mad, be it human or robot. Thanks for the opportunity to be your trail guide this morning. The Oregon Trail isn’t fun, but at least you didn’t die.

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